Done

It's done. It's taken me a day and a bit to be able to repost. I have had some sleep and have come down from the emotional shock. Now finally, will I be able to rest?

It's been such a surreal struggle. Hours and hours of reading, hours and hours of writing, hours and hours of talking and thinking. It's all going to be summed up in 4 grades I will recieve in three weeks' time. Actually, 1 grade. Something that will probably look something like, "Bachelor of Arts with Second Class Honours: First Division in Philosophy".

There's no way I will get a first class - I never got to properly polish off my proofreading etc. In fact, I completely rewrote two of them in two days. One of them I basically rewrote from scratch. Plus, there's the fact that postgraduate study is pretty hard. I will actually be pretty happy with a 2/1. Jelous, but happy.

At least it wont matter on my business card.

The whole situation has been kind of confusing in regards to my respect for the university system. I have much more respect for those people who engage in postgraduate study. Undergrad really is just highschool with letters at the end. The other side of the coin is that I have far less respect for the university as an institution. I don't know why, but I don't like the way that the importance of academic diciplines are self-furfilling. You can't criticise the dicipline from within the dicipline, and any criticism from outside is labelled as misguided. I guess I am just jaded because I didn't immediately get the perfect marks I was expecting.

I guess I need to finally find out what I want to do with my life... Maybe that scares me more than the prospect of failing.